Random thoughts..

Didn't really have a good start to the morning today.. haizz.. I was super sleepy when i awoke for sahur today and it was a struggle keeping awake to finish my prayers and alas i didnt reheat the food from yday break fast time, and it all spoilt. it was half a pot of chicken curry and just like that its all gone to waste.

i felt damn bad, nt really cos of the unhappiness its gonna cause chachi, but more cos she would have to cook again though shes fasting, unwell AND working the night shift.. gotta try and do someting to rectify, probably buy dinner back for all and ask her nt to cook..

Its thurs today, the week has really flown by.. tomorrow is friday and before u know it the weekends gone and a new week starts.. it jus seems like a vicious never-ending cycle.. On my way to work today, i jus kept asking myself 'What if I had done it'. That brought to my mind a whole series of qns that we at some point in time always ask ouselves. The what ifs and if onlys

What if I had done this instead of that
What if I had chosen this ovr that
If only I had nt been so silly
If only I had made the move
If only I had studied harder
If only I had thought about tis before
etc etc etc

Looking bad, life is full of mishaps.. Sometimes things never turn out the way you would want them to.. Thats when regret seeps into your heart and sometimes it haunts you. I always pride myself on never having any regrets in my life, cos whats done is done, nothings gonna change it..

But recently, I have this burning IF ONLY question in my heart that tends to hurt. But being the person tat I am, i always push it to the back of my head and tell myself that whats done is done and nothing can change it. A life lost is a life lost, nothings gonna change anything. Sitting down and weeping or worrying aint gonna solve my problems..

Sure its easier said that done.. I have spent days on end moody and upset and breaking down.. and the only person who knows about this is bee and HIM. Months have gone by and something I have realised during tis time is that people change. And the only way you can solve problems or enlighten yourself will be through your prayers..

This may sound cliche to many, but believing that 'If god takes you to it, HE will take u through it' sure helps in making one feel better. And slowly, you grow to realise that actually everything happens for a reason, and usually this is good.

Recently Rasheed and my bro had a misunderstanding. Initially the results of it seemed to be rather upsetting (considering hw my bro is nt a very tactful person, he says whats on his mind w/o thinking of hw ppl may take it. yes, it runs in the family haha) but later however i realised that it was all for good. Overall, after tat incident, I realise i'm sinning alot less. and thats very good. it gives me peace of mind.

Alhamdulila, bee and i now give more importance to prayers and we can visibly see the changes (positive of cos) in both emotional and physical state. problems dun seem so big anymore and tempers flare alot less.

Okay, I know this entry is full of random thoughts and it doesnt really flow.. but end of the day i just wanna highlight two things..

1. Treasure your loved ones and tell them how much you love them EVERYDAY cos tomorrow may never come.
2. Life is too short to be full of regrets. Dont keep looking back at the past and going IF ONLY or WHAT IF. move on.

and most importantly, place ur utmost trust in HIM.
one who believes in HIM will never fail.

have a pleasant day ahead guys.. i certainly hope my day turns out better soon. =)

cheers,