Yesterday we had out annual family breakfast session at Bishan. This used to be a much anticipated session - when we were all much much younger.. just like the raya gathering at bishan every year.. but as the years have progressed, things seem to change, as do people.. To be honest, i would nt have gone if chachi had nt kinda 'coerced' me and ma bros to go.. One obvious thing i noticed was the no of people, as well as the variety of food has reduced greatly..
Maybe the cause for the change is the demise of some of our loved ones (in the past few years, we have seen 4 close loved ones pass on - jalal mama, chachi and my parents), the rifts between some families and even cousins.. or maybe, its jus that we have all grown up. What seemed to excite us when we were 10-15 does nt seem to excite one once u reach 20. Maybe also cos u hav seen the through the facade that many of them put up there. haiz.. Also largely cos rashi and banu are nt there.. whichever the case, things jus aint the same anymore.
I truly miss my childhood, the carefree life and the way i always got what i wanted, the way small joys seemed wonderful, and small things (like $2) seemed big. haha. Like i mentioned in my previous post, the grass is always greener on the other side.. When i was young, i wanted to get older. When i was a teen, i wanted to start working and now that i am working, i just wanna go back to my childhood or school days. Maybe its jus a human thing, never being satisfied with what you have.
The transition from being a student to a working adult is great, especially so if you're a working adult who is also studying. I have to admit, i am a slacker. I always wait till the last min to slog and somehw by god's grace i have made it this far. *alhamdulila* but honestly, working life aint all glitz and glam. True, my salary is alright for someone who jus turned 21. Some of e people around me even feel envious abt it. But hey, about 40% of it goes to paying off my poly and degree loan and not forgetting there are household bills to share with my bro..
Having chachi stay with us sure helps alot. Atleast she takes care of the groceries and cooking. i cannot imagine having to cook and clean while working and studying. i will die of exhaustion, really. Even the finances can be manageable but its the people and issues sorrounding us that makes life harder. Suddenly, you're faced with responsibility. Bills (did u know there was a bill for dustbins, tv licenses etc), notices, hse tenures, transfer of home ownership, cpf issues blah blah blah.
And you have to please the people around you, make sure u dun do anything (even minor) that may cause any resentment. Long gone r the days when i used to belief that 'I live my life the way i want. I dun bother abt what people have to say so long as my conscience is clear'. To have peace of mind, I have to bother these days and this is the hardest part of it all.
Like i mentioned earlier, i'm a slacker. i dun usually do something unless i really have to. I just hope i dun cock up anything big time anytime soon. Supposed to go see a lawyer for the hse issues later with bro. And bro just had a minor surgery on his leg! i really hope he recovers soon.
raya is cmg soon, and i'm nt in the mood for it. Its the 19th day today if i'm nt wrong. Time flies and i am glad! not cos raya wil be here soon, but cause the year will come to an end soon. Cant wait for that!.
Monday, October 1, 2007
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